This weekend, I presented a paper at the Fall Conference for the de Nicola Center for Ethics and Culture at the University of Notre Dame. My paper was titled, “Man, My Beloved: A Catholic Case for Falling in Love with Your Friends.” Drawing on such thinkers as Aristotle, Bonaventure, John Henry Newman, Christos Yannaras, and John Paul II, I argued for reimagining friendship as a necessarily erotic relationship. In today’s culture, conversations about love and eros have become almost entirely subsumed into the topics of sexuality and marriage. I hoped to give a renewed account of eros as that which draws man out of himself and gives birth in creativity, demonstrating the ways in which becoming friends really is a process of falling in love.
I ran short on time at the conference, so I had to cut down some of what I presented. But you can listen to a recording from my talk below!
Chris Damian is a writer, speaker, attorney, and business professional living in the Twin Cities. He received his B.A. in Philosophy from the University of Notre Dame and his J.D. and M.A. in Catholic Studies from the University of St. Thomas. He is the author of “I Desired You: Intellectual Journals on Faith and (Homo)sexuality” (volumes I and II). He is also the co-founder of YArespond, a group of Catholic young adults seeking informed and holistic responses to the clergy abuse crisis. In his free time, he enjoys hosting dinner parties and creative writing workshops.
Chris Damian 
“It is not good for the man to be alone.” Yet, there is no promise that in the next sentence the suitable companion *will* end the man’s aloneness! Not yet. Because it is future.
Marriage does *not* end a man’s aloneness. How can it? I can go to a conference. When I get home I will try, exceedingly, to share it with my wife. But I can’t fully. Even if she was with me at the conference she would see it differently. How lonely is that. The reality is that my wife can’t see through my eyes, she can’t see into my soul how my heart strings harmonize with the conference speakers to sing me a beautiful song about it. My wife has her own eyes and soul. She sees things differently. Yes! Her views are additive and often complimentary and so the reality of that conference becomes bigger. But, it’s still lonely for me not to be able to share my heart completely. Yet, there is One who sees through my eyes and knows my heart song. Jesus who lives in me takes away that aloneness so that I am truly not “alone”! From that not being “alone”, I give to my wife.
What I’m saying is that Genesis verse does promise that the suitable companion will one day solve the man’s aloneness by bringing the Messiah into the world who will remove the man’s being alone forever. There will be no marriage in Heaven. And no need for exclusive friendships. We will all be one. The meaning of which is still future!
LikeLike
Pingback: On Gender and Otherness – Chris Damian